Ok all of you couples/married people I wanted to ask the question date nights/days. As me and jen have been married and have 3 boys, its been hard to get date nights, or just time for ourselfs but recently we have been able to take a date 2 times a month>

Before this though we never knew what a date was,(joking of course) but when we had kids and life got busy, we neversaw those times that are so important for us.

The main reason i brong this up is Im curious if anyne else has had this type of deal as life gets busy with jobs, and hobbies, and kids and whatecver it may be. Do you find it hard to have a date night?

Stewart C.

Yup, we have date nights every chance we get (we are due with #6 by the end of May).

But we may have to stop dating since we seem to ALWAYS get pregnant around those date nights...

We do date nights. They aren't as often as I would like, but we do them occasionally. We are lucky in that my mom is willing to watch our kids for us, since babysitters are so outrageously priced. The only problem is that she watches them quite a bit when we are working, so we try not to over-use her.

The funny thing is, our oldest 11 year old daughter hates it when we go on a date. She does everything in her power to get us to let her come along. Last night the kids all went to my mom's to spend the night. I think our daughter is finally realizing that she can't join us when we go on dates. She only asked once last night if she had to go to grandmas.

We totally do the date night...we found it to be a must. We try to make time for one once a week. What we have found to be helpful is to swap time with other couples, watching each others kids so that date nights are possible. It is cost effective, and fun to help each other out. It can also be fun for the kids, to have other kids to hang with.

Peace,
Crystal
...Plus I kinda like having date time with my hubby, and a break from the kids. We also really want to model how important it is to take care of ourselves for our kids, so that maybe they will "catch" (instead of be taught) the need to take good care of themselves.

Yes Crystal I have to agree we have finally have a couple that we swap with every other week and it has been a great thing. we actually had a really good night tonight. We went to dinner then wee went to old roseville in cali and shot some pics and thewn went and gotr coffee so it has been a great thing.

Stewart C.



Dude thats so funny!! No its cool to have those date nights. Just be careful!!

Stewart C.

Paying a babysitter now is cheaper than divorce fees, alimony and child-support later.

Great idea on trading sitters though!

I bet the 11yr old is ready for mommy/daughter or daddy/daughter date nights (then she'll get off her back about going with you).

Johnny, my hubby and I go on plenty of dates without getting pregnant

And we complain about folks who complain about the price of wedding photography!

With three kids (3 1/2, 2 and 4 months), date nights are a must. The key for us was having a regular time to do it, instead of having to schedule it. It is every other monday night. The mother in law comes and watches the kiddos (what a brave woman). The kids love it and don't even think twice about showing us the door. I think they get as tired of me as I get of them.

I strongly believe that date nights are the only reason that my husband and I still have a strong personal and direct connection to each other after 4 years of childbirthing and baby-raising. It's very easy to lose that romantic connection with each other and become co-parents instead of companions.

Yes, well, I think it depends on who the babysitter is. When a 13 year old girl informs me that she charges $10 to $12 an hour for babysitting two kids (one of which was only there for an hour of the time and the other was sleeping the whole time the other was there), I think she is pretty unreasonably priced. If she were a college student who drove herself to my house and has a ton of experience, I have no problem with that. Of course, the two middle schoolers who have pulled that on me have not been asked back even though they keep telling me they would love to babysit again. Kind of like if someone who just picked up a camera for the first time charged $12,000 for a wedding, not really reasonable.

We dont have them nearly enough. We keep promising ourselves, but it often doesnt happen. Lets put it this way. My oldest is eight and she has only spent the night away from us (overnight) once. We dont have "babysitter" grandparents so it becomes hard to get out and afford the babysitter AND dinner and a movie or whatever. I keep telling him, we desperately need to have some "fun" with each other in order to stay sane.

Shawn and I do date nights when we can, and I think it is going to become much more imporatnt when Sydney arrives! We've gone through this date book and love it. we are about to go through it a second time!

Thats tough CL. But here's some ideas for you and your hubbie that has become some of the best date nights for me and Jen. You don't need to spend alot of money either on a date. WE have done coffee and then went to IKEA and walked the store for 2 hours and then went home. Sounds funny but it was probably one of the best dates we have had in my opinion (but can be dangerous at IKEA cause there prices are so good and you want about everything in the store ). We also have just gone for a walk sometimes, we have just went to the coffee shop and chatted, or banes and noble and look at books on photography(which we did last night).

Just want to encourage you that its possible and I know what you mean when you said "we desperately need to have some "fun" with each other in order to stay sane." we have been there. Even take the kids with you to coffee and get them a hot chocolate, or walk to the park if there is one close by and let the kids play and you and your hubbie can chat it up and catch up a bit.

Hope this helps a bit.

Stewart C.

When our first two kids were young, we lived in a town where we didn't have any family and really didn't know anyone to trade babysitting with. We could barely afford a babysitter, even for a couple of hours, let alone a movie or dinner or anything. We decided to get creative. One time we hired a babysitter for about two hours (all we could afford), made sure it was a time when the kids would be in bed by the time we got home. We packed a picnic and went for a drive to nowhere and had our picnic. Then we went to Target and we both got to have something like $5 cash. We gave ourselves 25 minutes to go shopping and find something to spend the $5 on. The rules were that we each had to find something to surprise the other person with. The item we bought had to be something we could do to or for the other person. We met up 25 minutes later and went home. I bought foot massage lotion and gave Adam a foot massage. Adam bought two cans of silly string and we had a silly string fight. It was a lot of fun and cost very little. With dollar stores, you could do it for even cheaper.

This is a great idea Lynn. I love it.

Stewart C.

one of my favorite dates with Chris was when we didn't have much money for the date portion of the evening. So we collected coupons and had a progressive dinner "challange" we could only get one item at each place (which is what most coupons are only good for) and needed to get our whole meal (drink, main dish, side, and desert) each with a coupon. We drove around town getting something at each place and then had a picnic dinner. It was so fun having a challenge and needing to be creative in where we went and how to save money.

Great idea Jen!

We don't have kids or anything yet...and are actually planning the wedding, so not married yet. But, with wedding planning and me graduating from law school in May, the to-do list seems to be an ever-present thought. We try to set aside at least a few hours each week to catch up with one another without mentioning the things we need to do - sometimes we play board games or cards; we have "dream-shopped" online for houses and furniture; we'll put on some music and dance in the living room; in a couple of weeks, we're going camping/hiking for the weekend; we've gone to the 24 hour grocery store for milk late at night and ended up dancing in the aisles....

I think, too, that when life gets crazy, you can try to work out ways to connect with one another even with the kids, or whomever else, around. Little things, like eye contact, playing on a team against the kids for a game, holding each other's hand when you're going somewhere - they're little and they're not "date nights," but I think they can make a big difference in helping you to connect during those busy times.

Date? What's that?!?

No, really, we do get one occasionally. Usually during Kid's Night Out at the church. The kids beg to go, so if we MUST take 'em we might as well have a nice time ourselves. Good thread.

Ginger

We get date night - it tries to be once a week but it's usually more like twice a month. I need date night once a week though - BACK WITH THE DATE NIGHT!!! (sarah are you getting this?)

duly noted.

As soon as I get over this bronchitis, babe. Promise.

we have 3 other couples that live nearby who we trade nights with - at least once a month we go out then cover for the others another night.


it's easy and cheap and then once a month the kids all sleep over at one house, we get a baby sitter and we all go out together . . . .


it works for us.

Date? What's that? Does IHOP with the baby count?

IHOP with the baby counts i think. I know it would in my book. Come on breakfast for a date, you cant go wrong.

Stewart C.

We found date nights to be very important! For those that have a hard time finding a babysitter I have one solution:

BENADRYL

One dose will knock out any two year old for about 4 hours - just enough time to leave her for a nice dinner and movie.


just kidding of course!!!!!

This is so funny!!!! I love it.

Every Friday night is date night at our house. Every summer our local community college teaches a babysitting course for girls 12 and up they get certified in first aid and cpr as well as get classes in child care. It is great because you can call the college and they will give you a list of babysitters that have graduated from the program. I call the girls I know on the list and tell them that they can make $30 every friday night if they commit to being my babysitter all month long. I pick them up and I provide dinner (Friday is junk food night at my house) My kids go to bed at 7:30 so the baby sitter has from 7:30- whenever we get home free to watch movies, play on the computer ect ect. We have girls calling US to babysit of friday nights because we have the best deal in town going! The boys love it because they have really bonded with the 4 or so babysitters we have and the boys now see it as a treat for them also. We are just now seeing our first set of babysitters graduate and go on to college and they have really become part of our family.


It works out for us. If you never do anything else for your relationship make the commitment to do whatever it takes to find a sitter and get out with each other. You gotta have a date night!