So I recently found out a friend of mine mixed up the date for a wedding, thought it was a day later than it was, and didn't show on the real date. Bride found another photographer, but of course my friend is devastated. It's so unlike him, never happened before, and certainly never will happen again. But I need to know what to say to him! He's talking about not doing weddings anymore, which would be a real shame. He's been doing weddings on the side for a while now and brides are thrilled with his work.

Has this ever happened to any of you? How would you handle it? My heart just hurts for him.

Ouch! I'm not sure what to tell you to tell him. Hopefully he'll be able to chalk it up to one of those dreaded "life lessons" after a bit of time passes. Just continue being a friend and keep encouraging him.

Sort of blows that recurring nightmare about not showing up for a final out of the water.

Tell him to hang in there. Mistakes pass. Talent lasts.

--J.

thats awful! this is one of my biggest fears. once i showed up a day early for a wedding.. I showed up on Saturday for the Sunday wedding, luckily I could easily fix that problem.

Did the bride try to get a hold of him the day of when he didnt show?

buy him a calendar, and tell him that not having a secretary is a terrible reason to deprive other couples of truly beautiful wedding photography.

and perhaps thinking of other ways for him to "make it up" to the couple would be helpful. obviously they can't redo their wedding, but perhaps sending a very very nice gift (maybe a print credit with the other photographer) and a long hand-written note would help mend fences.

i can't say that it's not awful, or that it isn't my nightmare. and he should certainly take all steps he possibly can to not do this in the future....but he's human. so long as it was an honest mistake, any one of us could have done it, and we'd be equally devistated.

Sorry this happened to your friend. All I can really say is we dont grow without mistakes. Certainly dont throw in the towel. Revise the planning and tracking process and move on to the next wedding. This actually happened to me as a groom, so I can see both sides of this one!

Thanks guys. I think some of the people he knows have talked him off the ledge about giving up weddings. Jillian, he is truly not ever like this. He's borderline anal retentive about stuff like this, arriving early, triple checking stuff, etc. But I think his day job was being particularly demanding and unfortunately this was the thing that slipped through the cracks. I'll pass on your advice and kind words.

The thing I forgot to add to my earlier response sort of goes hand-in-hand with Jillian's calendar suggestion-- for each wedding, I'm keeping track of at least 5 important dates on my calendar:

1. the e-session
2. 30 days before the wedding date (final balance due)
3. the rehearsal (it's not ALWAYS the day before)
4. one week before the wedding date (I always call the bride and MOB one week before just to check in and make sure we're all still on the same page).
5. the wedding date

Glad to hear he's in off the ledge.

--J.

Haha! I did this once too. Felt like a dolt but no real harm done

This has always been a huge fear of mine, since organization has never been my strong suit. At one point, I had 3 seperate studios booking for me. There were a coupla snafus, but luckily they were discovered early enough on. Now that i'm a solo venture it's so much easier!! But I still have to be careful (can you say PALM PILOT!!)

It's a horrible thing to have happened, but it's a lesson learned.

Abby

No way Mike! What is the story on THAT one??????

That is too bad...I have dreams about that happening, but hasn't happened yet. It would be just about impossible for it to happen to me though I have to say. I call up the bride the week before the wedding to check on the rehearsal and go over the timeline in detail. I also exchange cell phone numbers. I agree with Jeff's organized timeline--that is a good idea.

The only weird thing that ever happened to me was that I showed up at the wrong church. It had the same name as the other church, and to be honest it was the only time, I mean the ONLY time that I didn't get the exact address & directions from the bride. She told me "just look it up on google--it's Bethany Church In Rochester, NH." She swore up and down that there was only 1 Bethany Church and you can't miss it etc. Well, there are TWO! Luckily it was only 5 minutes away and I had all the cell phone numbers on me..but that was a close one and I missed my portrait session with the groom!

Ouch!

G