I'm still really annoyed to the point of being angry - which is bothering me (does it really matter enough to be angry about??).

So - I didn't get the lovely stomach virus that my entire family had the week before this wedding. Thank you for all the prayers!!

Uncle Bob was there and I wanted to kill him. I did. As soon as we started doing group portraits he was literally breathing down my neck about a foot away from me taking every single picture that I took. If I crouched down he would do the same. If I stood up so would he. I was thinking to myself that this had to be a joke.

I finished with the ladies and I started running to get the boys (it's a big venue and we were behind so I was seriously running) and I hear huffing and puffing and Uncle Bob footsteps coming up behind me. I was like - you've go to be freaking kidding me! As I'm running he asks me if I'm going to be doing video too! I said 'No - I can only do one thing at a time.' Idiot.

Anyways, he hovers the whole time I'm doing the group and family portraits -right over my sholder. If I hadn't been the photographer I would've thought it was comical. I ran into him 4 times. On accident - but he still didn't get it because before the night was over I'd hit him at least 5 more times.

At the ceremony he was two steps behind me everywhere I went. The DJ told me later that he was waiting for me to kick him and that him being that close would have freaked him out. The guests were giving me the 'I'm sorry' smile. I didn't get angry until after the ceremony when I stole the bride and groom for a few pictures. I set them up in a spot I really love because of the great lighting and he keep telling me - 'wow this is a great backdrop!' I kept ignoring him and swearing under my breath. I went up above the couple to take a few from a walk way and here he comes. I started to walk back down and stopped to catch a few of the couple talking to some guests who had walked by. I put my camera up to my face and uncle bob did the same thing. He was literally waiting for me to take a picture and I never did so he didn't either. That's when I was pissed.

I climbed up on this big rock to take some pictures and there he is right behind me. I should have shoved him off the damn thing. I go to step back and he says 'Am I in your way?' I said 'yes you are!'. I really don't think he understood how rude and obnoxious he was being.

At the reception I stood on a chair to take pics of the dancing - guess what he did. He finally pooped out and fell asleep in his dinner chair. I wanted to throw water on him and wake him up and say - 'hey buddy - the wedding's not over yet - what's your problem??'.

And no - I never said anything to him. Why? Because I can't think of nice things to say when I'm mad. I thought of lots of polite, but firm things to say to him when I got home but by then it was too late.

I don't understand why people think it's cool or even just okay to do that. I don't mind people standing around taking pictures - that's what weddings are all about - memories. But to have this guy 12 inches behind me the entire day was absolutely unnerving. I'm really mad at myself for not saying anything. Ughhhhhh!

I wish I had his email address. I'd like to write him a letter and ask him if I can follow him around while he's at work one day and see how he likes it.

After "accidentally" knocking him out of the way a few times with the 200mm slung over my shoulder he'd get the idea.

I'd have just asked him to go away. Seriously, "Hey, I don't mind if you take pictures, but you've got to do it from somewhere else, OK? I need to be able to do my best work for the folks, and I can't do it with you hovering over me. How about giving me some room to breathe?" And then it would be the bride's Dad handling it, when I told him I'm really not able to do my best work with Dilbert breathing on me.

Wow Colleen! That sounds absolutely horrible... that *was* horrible.

I don't know how you didn't say anything. I might have snapped.

That is apparently why you need a 2nd shooter/assistant. When people stand behind Melody I nicely tell them that she needs to be able to back up and move around and will run over them if they stand there. It's nice to have some detached crowd control that doesn't have to be taking pictures constantly.

uh WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a messed up person! I feel for ya, I have no idea what I would have done, but I would have done something. We had one back in Feb. that shadowed us on the formals, firing away like crazy with his flash, that did screw up some of my shots with excessive light, but at least it was only during the formals. And he was about 70 yrs old I think.

I would highly recommend adding this to your contract. Put something in there to the tone of not allowing Professional or Amateur Photographers at the wedding. This is not saying that you do not allow people to take pictures at the wedding it is just to prevent crap like this from happening. I make sure that I explain this type of situation to the bride and groom as they are signing to book the date. I explain that if this situation happens I will be coming to them and asking for them to put an end to this person's "lack of respect" behavior while you are "working" your butt off for them.
I usually try to give a few hints like you did, but after about two hints I stop right in the middle of what I am doing and just tell them that I don't allow people to be shooting at that time because I don't want the group's eyes looking at their camera/their flash to mess up the exposure/and to be in my way when I am trying to get certain shots. Most of the time they understand and back off. If they don't then talk to the B/G and just refer to what you talked about in the contract and that should take care of it.

Please tell me you took a picture of him sleeping in the chair!

That's pretty bad.

I second shot a wedding 2 weeks ago and there was one like him there. Right behind us the whole time, standing in the middle of the aisle as everyone was walking down, squatting there during the ceremony. Every time one of us would raise the camera to our eye he'd look at what we were shooting and do the same. It was ridiculous. To top it all off, I heard one of the guests ask him if they could have a disc of all his images.

The thing that made us feel better is that no matter how much he follows us around, the pictures he takes with his Rebel and kit 28-70 or whatever will never look like ours.

colleen - NOT worth worrying about. let it go - you are upset, not him - he had a great time!

i've had this happen - and as hard as it is, talking to these dim bulbs is usually the best thing - "can i help you?" and just look at them... get an answer. let them know that while your job is fun, you are working and you don't mind him taking photos, but you were hired to photograph the wedding and you want to give the client the best photos possible. let him know that he is a distraction. straigh up: 'you are a distraction to me, would you mind not shadowing me?' occasionally i get the 'funny uncle bob' who may have already started drinking, or is just obnoxious, who will then mock me for spite - but if i come right back at them laughing and joking and tell them i appreciate their 'cooperation' with an eye roll - they have always backed off.

it's sad that these people seem to need to be the center of attention, and don't realize that the wedding isn't about them. must not have been properly potty trained or something.

I have it in my contract that if someone does this and does not stop when asked I will turn to the couple to ask assistance. If it does not stop I am allowed to cease coverage. The language is different, but that's it in a nutshell. It's never happened to me again.

So sorry you had to go through this. Did the couple not notice??

hahahahaha LOVE it Robin!!!

That stinks Colleen, I've never had a situation like this before, that would be horrible. I always think of nice/appropriate/snappy comments afterwards as well, so frustrating!

One thing we do is educate out bride an groom at their final details meeting. We let them know that we don't mind people taking photos, but they need to not be a distraction (we use the example of flashes, directing people to look at them etc) and then ask who would be best to talk to if we run into problems. We normally suggest either a friend family member FIB etc. so that we don't need to concern the bride and groom.

However just educating our clients on this has helped. We've had brides telling all the family "photographers" know during the formals "I'm paying THEM for these photos, and I don't want YOU ruining them, back off!" we had a hard time not laughing. But seriously, if the bride and groom are aware ahead of time, it should get taken care of quickly and without drama.

"pardon me, I'm sorry, but i'm a bit claustrophobic...if you wouldn't mind staying about 4 feet away from me, it'll help me not to panic....i'm sure bride & groom would appreciate it if I didn't pass out, haha!"

ok, i wouldn't really suggest saying that, as its a lie. but man, i'd probably ask for "a few feet of elbow room so I can work most efficiently"

that really sounds like a horrible situation!

Oh Man!!!!! I think I thought about it, but they were getting ready to do the garter toss or something. Actually I was just tired of looking at him and was so delighted that he was zonked out. I'll have to look though. I think I have one of him somewhere.Amen! I know that the pics he took with his wife's new Sony point and shoot will not compare to my gorgeous, 5Delovely, post processed to perfection, correctly lit, shallow (or not) DOF professional pictures. I was just tired of him thinking that they would. :)Oh, and he was trying to be friendly at the reception and asked if I had heard of some program (I can't remember the name) that turns low res jpegs into high res jpegs so you can print them out bigger. I said 'Oh, no - I haven't. I ony shoot RAW - jpeg isn't good enough for my clients.' Hehehe - I AM NOT bashing people who shoot jpeg, cause I know it's just fine - I just wanted to be a snot. Oh yes they noticed!!! There was no way not to! I asked the groom who he was and he said it was his uncle, but that was before he had seen the way he was on my back during the ladies pictures. Ugh.

Bwahahahaha, so true. Wow, that is some Mega-Bobage.

I definitely would tuck away a few of those comments for the next Uncle Bob, it's easy to get flustered in a situation like that... especially with a Bob literally over your shoulder. Even on the Rock? wow.

Next time politely speak up. A good portion of what we do is client and public education about the art and policies of professional photography. In my experience many people just don't know something is uncouth (even if is seems totally obvious to the rest of us) unless someone kindly lets them know. As you gain confidence in your skills and more time under your belt you will find this easier to do, promise.

I had an Uncle Bob show up with a 6 foot ladder at one of my recent weddings. Actually set it up at the back of the ceremony, moving it around, taking pics. Crazy. At that one.... I just had to laugh.

This is funny...Krystal and I were both browsing OSP at the same time, I had no idea she was posting that, but while she was I was locating the image for my own post

And I think it was more like and 8 foot ladder!

Ha!! I'm sure his flash was giving him some good fill at that distance

Now, that's unobtrusive!

Oh man, that sucks! The only thing I've had that was close to that was an uncle bob who was so close to me during the ceremony that I ended up getting cracked on top of the head by his flash bracket and it literally dropped me to my knees during the processional. That was fun. He didn't speak English, but believe me, he understood the look I gave him after that happened and I didn't have another issue with him.

You are a saint.

You are right, when we are angry things may not come out tactfully.

However, you have the right to smile and say:

"Hi there, what kind of camera is that? Oh, Ok, nice. I have a Canon xx. Very nice camera.
Anyway, would you mind shooting from the side please? A little further. Just a tiny bit more. More. More. Ok- perfect."

I think you did not want to be mean- but you can be polite and assertive at the same time.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!I just have to practice speaking when I'm mad. My husband hates it, but if I am angry I CANNOT say a word! I can cry - but I can't talk. I think it's the effect of watching parents scream and yell at each other for 16 years. :)But - now I've memorized a few nice things to say if it happens again. I'm even going to write them down on a 3x5 card and keep it in my bag so that if needs be I can pull it out and read it to the naughty person!! Owwww! Why are people so DUMB???

Next time, try shooting from behind your back and between your legs like the Harlem Globe Trotters, then hide your car about 2 blocks away and make sure he follows you, even sell the idea to him that he should get this great overall shot that you have planned. Then after he huffs and puffs after you all the way out to your car, hop in and leave him in the wilderness to hike back. Make it into a game, especially if you have one of those three hour receiving line weddings with a lot of free time in the middle. Like Robin says, don't let him make you miserable, make him miserable— MuuuuHahahahahaha!

You just provided my "LOL Moment for the Day!!"

OMG that is hilarious

+1

Jeff always takes the family portraits and I've dealt with the Aunt Millies leaning over his shoulder. I have definitely learned to be firm and assertive during these times! You just have to speak up and NOT get the bride and groom involved. Let the newlyweds have their day - they are paying you to do your job well and that means politely asking that others step aside - always smiling, always being fun and happy, but always being FIRM.

LOL. Ohmigosh. That is craaazy!

I had an uncle bob come and tickle me from behind, and it made me squeal as I'm hopelessly ticklish. He did it in the middle of family formals with pretty much the whole guest list present. And everyone laughed. I was mortified!

I love your evil mind, can you mentor me in this.

I think we're all going to have to see some of this footage.

The new "HGT Experience" Seminar, and 20 state tour... begin plans immediately!

Maybe I should count my blessings but I have never had an uncle Bob like this. I have had the uncle who pops up in all of my shots or distracts my brides during formals but hey....all in a days work. I think an unspoken rule about being a professional is knowing how to command your respect.

Sometimes this means pumping your chest and saying "let me do my thing...can a brotha get sum fresh air" sometimes all it takes is "the look". All of the parents on this forum know that "the look" can be more powerful than the words. All and all, knowing how to handle a tough crowd (from drunken groomsmen to bridezillas and uncle bobs) is all part of being a "professional". Whoever says wedding photographers get paid too much for easy work is a fool.

Peace
Parris Whittingham

I had a videographer do this to me when I was 2nd shooting at a wedding once... I think he thought I was safer than the main photographer - that was until I turned around, not realising he was filming over my shoulder, one camera in hand and one with mounted flash over my shoulder, and knocked him in the crotch with the flash head... he didnt come near me after that... very effective really..

I'v not had an Uncle Bob problem as yet... I'm a bit worried now

I have several relatively effective anti-Uncle Bob techniques that seem to be pretty effective (at least when I'm shooting formals).

# 1 -- Bob is shooting over my shoulder -- I turn around quickly and shoot a shot of him...and I keep doing this as long as he's shooting the same shot as me. For some reason...this intimidates Bob...don't know why...I pass it off as me just playing around having some fun...but I guess Bob doesn't want to be photographed. Who knows?

# 2 -- this one is less purposeful. After I shoot I tend to move up really quick to make some kind of quick adjustment to the shot. Make a kid or baby laugh, move someone who is hiding, adjust a flower or tie, etc., but unless Uncle Bob is REALLY QUICK (like me), he's gonna get a lot of shots of my big ugly backside in his shots. Usually this scares 'em off.

# 3 -- I do ask *everyone* behind me to step back a few feet since they are creating shadows from my lights (and this is true).

# 4 -- sometimes I befriend Uncle Bob from the beginning -- if he knows my name and I know his...and we start talking photography...quite often it humbles Uncle Bob...and they tend to back off a bit. (Usually they end up shooting the table shots...which I don't do! LOL)

Hope these help...

I feel for you Colleen. Its a very frustrating situation and it's hard when it's their family member.

I had an Uncle(well -cousin) Bob(not my cousin, the bride's) that was actually a pro photographer and wasn't even invited to the wedding. He was everywhere - on the altar during the ceremony - followed us to the park for formals - and even began pulling the groomsmen aside and posing them - and then had me waiting until he was done. I just stopped and let them know that I wasn't able to work and we were running out of time. Nobody said anything to him though. They just apologized profusely. I didn't leave because it was then that I found out that he hadn't even been invited, but nobody wanted to send him away and hurt his feelings because, after all, he was family.

Finally at the reception, during the first dance, he ran up to me to tell me I was doing it wrong - right in front of everyone, it was so obvious. I was supposed to stop them, make them put their faces together and smile for me. I just ignored him. But darn it if he isn't in the background of half the shots no matter what angle I took them from.

LOL! sounds very effective.

Yeah Colleen, I think you just need to think over some situations in your head and figure out a way for you to be assertive yet still be you. The worst thing is to lose your cool with your b/g's cause they can feel it. And really, now that I think about it, you got the green light to say something to him from some of the guests when they gave you the "I'm sorry look". I highly doubt you are as big as some of us male shooters so some of our physical techniques aren't going to work for you. I have stood up and almost threw a guy to the ground once because he was hovering over me and I launched up as though I didn't know he was there. I'm 6'6" so it was VERY effective. As he was picking him self up I reached down and grabbed his arm as though I was trying to help him up and be super nice, what I did that most people didn't see was on his way up I whispered, "Hover over my shot again, and we'll stop the wedding for the couple to deal with you. Understood?" Don't know that I saw that Uncle Bob again through out the whole wedding.

I did have a soft approach once that may work for you that I feel like I heard Jillian say once. I told this guy that if he put his email address on my sheet I'd get him the slide show and online proofs right away, (Which I knew he didn't want to hear) but then I added, and by the way, I need you to not try and grab my shots because if I see the brides eyes shift to your camera one more time, I'm going to stop the whole thing and have them speak with you. Now do you really want that?

I'm still thinking this may have been most effective because his neck was at a 45 degree angle looking up at me. Hmmm. Maybe I can't help. Sorry. But do work on assertiveness, it's not worth the frustration.

Wouldn't it be fun -- just one time -- to finish your shots and then (without acknowledging that you are done), announce that your "good friend here" (point and nod to uncle Bob) "is going to set-up a few shots so please give him your undivided attention for a minute" -- and then take a bunch of shots over HIS shoulder?? I'm soooo gonna do this next time...

awesome

Hey mark,

Remind me to hire you as a bouncer at my next wedding...lol.

Hmmm... well - I'm not very big compared to some guys, but I do know how to knock people down. My dad taught me how to box. That would be too obvious though. I did think about smacking him in the face with my camera a couple of times on accident, but he was wearing glasses and I know how bad that hurts. Oh well. Live and learn. I did find a picture of him though. I didn't get any of him sleeping - I was too relieved that he wasn't standing on top of me for 5 minutes.

This is from the cake cutting. He thought he had a pretty good spot staked out and graciously offered it to me and I just said no.

Here's the perp -

I do that all the time. In a very playful way, when I see someone behind me taking a shot I turn around take a shot or three of them... hehe.

In your case Colleen I would have asked him to go away, sit down, mingle whatever. I think that's harder for a gentle lady such as yourself than it is for a guy like me (or Mark, LOL).

~Bill

Colleen, while I really do feel for your situation, I have to add that I really needed that laugh! I love the way you described that old Bob. And that picture of him and the other cake watchers is really great! Love it! What's he doing in that jacket? He LOOKS like rather a jerk, doesn't he? Wonder what his day job is?

Personally, I have absolutely no problem telling people that they simply can't take pictures or hold a camera up while I'm shooting group shots. That's easy for people to understand, because it's easy to see that the people who are being photographed don't know who to look at. I am not a big fan of moving around people's eyes in photoshop -- no time for that -- so I have no qualms about telling people in no uncertain terms they need to put their cameras down until I'm finished, and then if they want to line people up for more group shots, have at it.

Oh wow! Yeah, you should rehearse some situations ahead of time. HAHA!

Oh, my...I would have been so uncomfortable with someone in my "personal" space all day. Sounds like you handled yourself very well considering. I'm glad that you didn't knock him off the rocks...lol!

Hehehe. It is pretty funny - I think I said in one of my posts already that if I hadn't been the photographer it was happening too I would have thought it was funny. I did have to tell people to look at me a couple of times but thankfully everyone seemed to understand that I was THE photographer and so they paid attention really well. I was going fast too - there's no way he got everything I did. You can call me Zippy from now on.