So I wanted to ask if some of you struggle with wanting to be a rockstar photographer. I know for myself right now, its hard cause as I was growing up I was NEVER shown love and was always told" I will never amount to anything" or " your never going to get anywhere in life" and so on and so on. I grew up in a messed up environment and was never shown much love, dad wasnt in the picture, and just was shunned upon by my family. I was abused by my dad and mentally by my mom. Well I finally have found something that I can say to myself that I love what I do and I have confidence in my work and continue to want to excel in that, but like I said I was never the popular one in school or anywhere for that matter, and lately my ego of wanting to be a popular photog is effecting me cause don't get me wrong i want to mingle with some of the best in the industry, and i already have been blessed at some events and opportunities but lately as i was talking with jen the other day i realized that my ego and wanting to be popular has effected certain things within me and our business.

Sorry to vent and be open with you all but just wanted to know do others struggle in this as well?

I have a need to perform, and a need to be appreciated by my family and friends, but not necessarily be a rockstar. I think it would make me quite uncomfortable with that level of exposure. I'm not a big fan of maneuvering myself within social circles with an agenda..... I like to be where I am and let the conversations be what they are. You are who you are, and exerting extra pressure on yourself to be accepted by others will just backfire when you get exhausted and need someone to replenish YOU!

I think you should try to be a rockstar to just one or two people, family first, friends next and the world last. Baby steps!

i have to admit, at first rockstardome did appeal to me... now it makes me kinda sick to my stomach.

i find it takes away from the real meaning of why i wanted to do this in the first place. i stand by my work, regardless if anyone else does. and if at the end of the day i feel i did an outstanding job, then that is enough for me. if people dont 'get me' then so be it, their loss.

As I see it, the photography industry is just like high school. I could turn this into a long rant, but basically... in a world of "rockstar" photographers (aren't most of them self-proclaimed rockstars anyways?), I'm just fine being the "girl next door" photographer.

Other photographers don't pay my rent, no need to flaunt my feathers for them. If I had feathers, that is... I think your energy is better spent with your family, friends, and clients. I think that mingling and networking are all great things, but they shouldn't take priority to the *real* important things in life - the people who love you, and will still love you if you lose your touch and start taking crappy pictures!

I know from your blog that you have a beautiful, fun family Chris! That should make up for any feelings of being unwanted from your past.

Plus, with that hair you're already a "rockstar"

and,,,, being a rockstar photographer is only within the wedding photographer community - do you really think anyone on the outside cares about them? do you really think any of their work will ever be remembered as some of the greats have been remembered: i.e. bresson?

the answer, plain and simple is: no.

Hey Kacy. I do have a great family and I love them dearly for sure and believe me it is so great to have a family that loves and cares for me and a wife that is so cool and loves me for who i am reguardless of the past issues, and helping me threw those times has been awesome. I never want to put them second, but theres a few times I have and thats the struggle for me is this business can sometimes suck me in to where I just get involved with the business and put them second.

My goals for my career are in photography have never included being a rockstar photographer. Would I like the fame? Nah.. I do envy their success however.

My goals are simple.. more like philosophies,
1. Deliver the best quality work I am capable of as fast as possible.
2. Remain passionate about #1
3. Never think or claim I know everything about anything.
4. Never quit striving for perfection, even if unobtainable.

All that being said.. I do enjoy tracking the Rockstar Photogs, and I've learned great deal from the all of the photog's here, (rockstar or otherwise).

+1000
perfectly said

I hear what you're saying. I don't know if it's related to being a rock-star, necessarily - I think what you're describing here is what a lot of us artistic/entreprenurial types struggle with: finding the balance between our family/friends and our creative process.

I've let go of the notion that I'll always put my friends and family first, because I won't. *Sometimes* they'll come first, and other times my own desires and drives take precedence. It's hard enough just to build a business, but to build a business that coincides with your inner fire - how could you NOT be selfish with your time sometimes? I don't where we got the notion that other people always need to come first in our lives. Balance, balance.

My own "rockstar" feeling comes when I'm in the middle of a fantastic shoot - you know, where you're in "the zone" and you don't even notice what's happening because you're on total creative auto-pilot and it all feels more like play than work. That's the high I look for. The approval I want is from my clients, friends, family. It's icing on the cake when other photographers tell me they like my work - it always feels great to be admired by one's peers, but that doesn't seem to be a priority for me.

Yes balance within family, other full time job, and our business definately takes it toll and balance is shoved out the door. I think what needs to happen for me is I shouldn't worry about my status per say and just focus on our business and not worry if my work is rockstar status or what others think. I appreciate you all for your honesty and taking time to answer a few things for me.

I totally hear you about wanting to be the best at something - I think it is a reaction to not getting that feeling from your parents. You always have this feeling of needing approval because you didn't get it when you really needed it, growing up, so in this case, you're looking for approval from your peers in this community of photographers (i.e. being a rockstar.)I think knowing where this need comes from and learning to meet it yourself, and doing better with your own family is really important. You know your kids need unconditional love and approval from you, and you know your wife loves you and its a long process, but accepting that what you have is enough and what you have is what you need right now brings a sense of peace.I've been really lucky with photography. I always wanted to be the best at something (compensating for not getting that early on in my life). I was always looking for that one thing I could do that would make me famous/make me rich etc. etc. When I got into photography, it was for totally different reasons (I needed a job where I could stay with my children most of the day, and as a newly single parent, support them financially.) I also really wanted/needed to spend my days being creative. Having this focus outside my career (being the best at something) has been really freeing. I love this job to bits - its the best job I've ever had, but at the same time, the reasons I am doing it (for my children, to feed my creative side) help to take the focus off being the best. I've reached a place of peace in knowing that I am not the best photographer out there. But I am the best I can be and have concrete goals to getting better.I hope you can find what you're looking for.PS. And you look like a rockstar And from your way fun dinners and happy birthday's all day long, its pretty clear your kids are going to always see you as a rockstar.

Everyone wants and needs appreciation in every aspect of life. Natural talent plays a big role in being the best or at the top of any field. Most rockstar wedding photographers are admired by the people who go to the workshops and seminars far more than thier clients. A great photographer is a great photographer, the subject doesn't matter.

Trying to be good to be famous (in this little grain of sand in the business world) is just thinking in a little bubble. Look at it like Hair and Nail Salons, they have huge conventions, people selling DVD on how to cut hair, how to sell stuff at you salon etc. Do you really care?? most people would say the same about us.

Shoot for yourself and for the people who like how you shoot. The cream rises to the top. We all have a place. Jessica, Joe, Gerrry etc. can't shoot every wedding, but their inspriation helps the little guys do a better job and the world needs little guys.

Given the choice, I would rather be Joey Ramone than Eddie Van Halen.

+10000 hey chris you're a rockstar in my book man! reason #1 random people taking pictures of you in vegas.

i've found that some of the "rockstar" photographers i've met are not people i'd want to hang with.

Chris, I understand how you feel but please keep in mind we're talking about wedding photography here. Do your best. No... do better than your best, but keep in mind you're not going to save the world with detail shots of rings, brides sitting on railroad tracks, and cake cuttings.

You should definitely have pride in your work (and your work is great, by the way), but don't put too much importance in being famous for wedding photography.

Frankly, I think being famous for something like inventing Radiopoppers is much more admirable than being a rockstar wedding photographer.

Everyone thanks for the comments. The more I sit here aout it I think it boils down to not so much being a rockstar photog, when I think of rockstar, I think of just knowing great photographers that I can keep in touch with on a regular basis. I do want jen's and my work to be what's important and not have thois attitude that "I'm so good and I don't have time to help others". That's not at all what I ever want to be cause if I do get that way please come to my home,drag me out of my house and shoot me in the street.

I love love love what I do with jen and our business and I just want that to continue for us.

By the way I would totally pick joey ramone over eddie van halen shane. Or maybe axel rose over vince vaughn.

or



Dude, EVH played on "Beat It". 'Nuff Said in my opinion



But it's not about being a Rock Star. It's about the Blues, baby.

I'm just really thankful to God everyday that I'm able to make enough money to do what I love, and make a decent living for my family.

I understand the wanting to be popular thing, it really is just like high school again. But just like other folks have said, how is being popular with other photogs gonna put more money in your pocket? It will only if you are selling stuff to them. I do think it' really important to connect with lots of other photogs. It's important to share info back and forth and to share leads.

Great way to put it all into perspective! I've been thinking the same thing all along!

Totally. I'd rather be SRV than EVH.


As far as being a rockstar, I definitely understand where you're coming from. I think certain people have this drive to always reach higher and sometimes it can get overwhelming. It's easy to get caught up in this little photo world, and any world if you're passionate enough about the subject.

One thing that I've been thinking about recently, and have only convinced myself of in the past week, is that I don't have to take over the world just yet. Joking aside, I see these amazing photographers that are doing absolutely incredible things in this industry and it makes me strive to do that. I'm not able to really be as effective as they are yet because I still have a lot of learning to do, but I can act on a more local scale. (My hippie heart is coming out a little bit... ya know, think global act local). Instead of being a photo rockstar of the world, maybe I can help build up some photo rockstars of my area.

I'm going to start setting up meetings in the Twin Cities with some of the awesome talent that we have here so we can all learn from eachother, build up our market, and really continue this nurturing and learning that is happening with the new photographers.

I think your drive is awesome and it's what's going to make you succeed, but maybe you just need to reform your idea of what your rockstar status should be right now. You can start small, all of the other rockstars did, too.

Hugs to you Chris, I grew up in a similar boat, dad's a b****d, mum's a b***h. I went through the 'I wanna be a rockstar' stage, I reckon it's a natural part of growing up as a photographer,
I don't want to be a rockstar now, too much hassle with maintaining the image, no thanks, I want to be me and be good at being me, not being what everyone else wants me to be.

^^ I sound like emienem (sp?) lol

Hugs to you and your family, it ain't easy being you, but it's worth it.


**shoot me now please**

Joe Buissink is my Facebook friend.





I'm hawt.

I've had the pleasure of meeting you twice, your sweet wife once and your littlest little princess... well I didn't necessarily meet her lets just say I couldn't keep my eyes off of the cutie patootie at OSPW2! :-) Having a number of things in common about our past, and just from what I've seen you don't carry too much of that around with you in the sense that your life sure doesn't seem to suffer for it. A beautiful wife, all of your beautiful babies. Not to mention, I have to say that I've only heard great and greater things about you and your wife. I'm very new to this "community" of photog's but I have to say that meeting "people" people like you who are also great photographers, you ARE the real rock stars anyways! What ever you went through in your childhood, hasn't crumpled your spirits, your fun personality or the kindness that I noticed right away.

I think you've done exactly what you should which is not letting the past get you in a permanent funk or take you in a downward spiral, but remembering it just enough to keep you modest, humble and sincere...grounded.

You and Jen really do seem to have something that people long for, admire or just plain and simple can see from a mile away. Thanks for sharing something about yourself... in this case I really see your vulnerability as a great strength.

Keep rockin on... as if you'd do anything else lol! Just my .02

Paid Private forums, Gear/Bags/Accessories, Workshops, Software, Actions, DVD's....

Show me a "popular" photographer who isn't selling *something*.

Not that anything is wrong with it - but being "popular" can definitely be profitable - it obviously requires some talent as well

I just really wanna have someone care about what is in my fridge when I post about it a 1:00AM....

Jenna it was a blast shooting you in vegas. Yeah the whole family thing sucks but what can you do. My relationship with my dad is nothing and as much as I want my dad in my life, nothing will come of it and my mom and I are great and I couldn't be happier about that. You can always remember the past and as long as you deal with it and forgive then that's all you can do but you never forget. You learn from your past and better yourself.

Jen is my bond that keeps me together and running and that is so inviting about us having a passion for photography. Eventually I will get over the rockstar thing. It will just take time. Thanks!!!

Why didn't you copy the rest of what I said? I said "unless your selling something"! LOL!

Sorry, I'm sleep deprived I must have missed it. Ignore me.

I have a tendency to want this "status" but at the end of the day I would rather make more money for my family and apply all of my efforts on that than to become a "cool guy" in the photography world.

We are all motivated differently, and I really wouldn't say that it is bad to be the rockstar photo.. BUT you should really check yourself and align your life/family goals before acting. Se with me I know exactly what I want out of photography and have quantified that before acting. Once I have these goals and strategy it becomes a very easy task.

In every venture in my photographic carer I ask myself

a: which of my goals does this impact
b: is this the most effective use of my time and money to accomplish this goal(s)
c: if i do this which of my goals will suffer and is that ok


Once you do this exercise the answers become very straightforward, it then becomes a mater of discipline


I shot 40 weddings last year and I have a day job. I've never been featured in an article, and am not the rockstar. I am not opposed to it, I just have to be real with myself and my efforts. Sometimes i think it is a blessing to have 40-50 hrs per week consumed with my 9-5 because it makes me insanely focused on where i spend the "extra" time


Hope that gives some perspective

Hey, Im a rockstar!!! No seriously, I am...look at what our CLIENTS say...

"Hey Mike! First off let me say great job! (As always). You guys rock!
I love the first one the one the one with some color. I definetly want that one!"

"Thank you for being a part of the day, you both added to the spirit of love that was so much the influence we were praying for.
You can count on us for an official praise letter to put on your site! "

"Many kudos to you both and pat yourselves on the back for a job not just well done but done excellently! Will try again this weekend to see the pictures and make our decisions in order to get the ball rolling. Thanks again! "

And we have dozens and dozens of these from our clients. Stewart, you are already a rockstar!! Check with your wife, your family, check with your clients, and the truth you will find...

It's a good question Chris - one that most people don't answer honestly for fear of stinging self-reflection.

Being a "rockstar" and chasing after the idea of becoming a "rockstar" are totally different and sometimes slippery paths.

Hanging out with someone who is popular in an attempt to be liked or associated with them, is a poor example of chasing the rockstar dream. It happens all too often in life, but seems this business especially - I feel transported back to high school! You can lose your identity and sight of what and who truly matters to you and after all your "networking" your business is no better for it. Most clients don't care what party you went to, what bag you carry or who commented on your blog - they care about you, your personality, your service, your work. Most chasing the Rockstar dream are chasing popularity; a lifestyle they perceive equates to success. It does not. Having dinner with someone famous does not make you famous; it does not make you successful - it is fun, and even inspiring, but it only impacts your business if you actually take something that you've learned any apply it to your own work. Aside from that, you are just socializing. After watching some people at WPPI, it has become apparent that for most, networking with a rockstar really has nothing to do with rockstar photography, or even photography at all. But.... to each his own.

Being a known for your successes can be an excellent thing - and who wouldn't want to achieve a level of success that your peers -and clients- appreciate. It is those people who are rockstars (whether labeled or not) because of what they've done, not who they know. So Chris, it boils down to how you go about it. Do you spend your time trying to be known or do you spend your time doing what you love? Are you still out there, being creative, being you? Never lose sight of those things and you are no doubt a Rockstar to those who truly care!

I've often felt like a failure because at the ripe old age of *gasp* 28 I haven't amassed a vast photography empire.

But, one day I started to carry my camera everyday. I took it to work, restaurants, rides about town. And I just took pictures. No pressure to be the best- I just took pictures of what I liked.

Now I feel happy again- because photography is once again something that I love to do. Not something that I use to get praise from others. I had to get past the myth that I was somehow inferior- no, not one of us is inferior to one another. Looking past all these things on the surface, we are all rockstars.

+1 billion sing it tana!!!

I see the stress got to you, I can understand your situation. All I can say is that relax, take a deep breath and don't kill yourself on this. I have struggled myself, but realized that it's best to just go with the flow. The more I get, the more I'll want and I'll never be happy that way.
You are a Rockstar already!
Don't compare yourself with others, it will be very difficult to satisfy yourself if you do. Set your own standards, continue to do what you are doing, success will find you and in my opinion, it already has
Best ...

I'm going to go against the grain here.

If you want to be a rockstar photographer. Go for it. Seriously. Some people are made for the limelight and some aren't. Only you know which one you are. Imagine how boring movies would be if nobody wanted to be a star. Imagine how boring life would be.

Just do it in a way that keeps your priorities in line.

~rc

With fame comes great responsibility. I don't know if I could deal with everyone knowing my name. But then I think about this guy who has a studio five minutes away. He does fantastic work, and is way out of my league, but I still get people coming to me for their senior portraits -- even after an older sibling went with him. Most photographers (at least those who do seniors) know who Larry Peters is, but his studio isn't right for everyone. And neither is mine (or yours). Most of my customers couldn't care less what other photographers think of me. They only care about how I treat them and how they feel when they're here ... oh, and also how their portraits look. And yes, that's in the right order.

I've said it before: if you have a good personality (or at least can fake it -- seriously, not being sarcastic at all), you'll do well. It's how your customers think of you -- not how other photographers think of you.

And dude, don't let anyone make you think otherwise, you only need to be a "rockstar" to those who care. And I know in my life that doesn't include too many other photographers.

This is great wisdom, Michelle. I agree--be a rockstar where it counts first. The other may follow and it may not, but at the end of the day, being a rockstar of the world doesn't get you very far.

Chris, as always, I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. And as some have already mentioned, you and Jen are rockstars in my book as well!

Tana.............. Thank you!

Seriously all of you. Thanks. This all helps tremendously to help me analyze myself and just not worry about what others think (even though I do sometimes) and just be myself and enjoy what I love to do and not let the Status thing take hold of me.

Chris, it takes a lot of balls to be vulnerable with yourself here. I really respect that.

I think if people are honest with themselves, at one point or another we have all let ourselves get carried away with dreams of "status" "fame" "money" "respect"... it is compete human nature to go chasing after futile things in hopes of some kind of fulfillment. But whatever fulfillment comes from these things are temporary and cheap. I'd rather go chasing after that which will offer true fulfillment and that is fulfilling my destiny, loving and serving others and loving what I do. But you are right some days it is hard and I struggle, we all do with wanting to give into our flesh and seek after that which is cheap... It is always good to remind myself that Richness in life comes through much different things love, faith, relationships etc.

I echo most of what has been said on this wonderful thread.

so, what you're saying is that what we as wedding photographers do won't be remembered as art?

stewart, you're my personal rockstar... and i adore you.

I totally understand the "wanna be a rockstar" mentality.
In my case, I grew up in a family where making good grades was "my thing"...good grades, academic awards, etc. So success to me was As on report cards and winning competitions. Then I went to college and did the same things...wanting perfect scores, winning scholarships. From there my life has been a series of accomplishing things to add to my resume. My whole identity is wrapped up in having things that I've accomplished to add to my list of fantastic things I've done...as if being me isn't enough. Sometimes I feel lost in my "must add another accomplishment" attitude. Then if I don't succeed there is such a sense of failure and personal doubt.

I literally have to stop myself from thinking this way sometimes and redirect my thoughts. At the end of the day, my list of accomplishments doesn't really make me happy...but I can't help from falling into the trap of placing my worth in them sometimes. I have to remember what is really important to me and why I do what I do. I have to remind myself that I'd have to give up a lot of what's important to me to be a "rockstar" right now (such as more time with my family). Maybe some other time...

I completely get the desire to be a rockstar, it's the desire to be sought out and respected as one of the best. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best, but what I have found is that it often costs much more than you are willing to give. And in this industry, the rockstars are generally not sought out because they are the best photographers but because they are the best marketers. HUGE difference in my book.

Personally, I have a long history of striving to be the best. And it's cost me a lot, in fact it almost cost me my life. I've learned that life is not about being the best in your field. It's about being the best you to everyone that you come into contact with. Giving of yourself to others with no agenda. Think about someone you know that has passed away.....what aspects of their life do you remember? You remember the time that they gave you, the times they helped you and how they showed you that you were their friend. I bet what they did for a living, and how popular they were within their field never entered your mind.



.

Hey thanks!

Just remember, awards can't hug you back.
(or maybe they can- I haven't won any to hug yet)

My take on it is this...Yes I truly want to be a success at this thing that we do. I think the sucess that I have gained so far has been from what I have learned from my Mom and that is humility. I have been on TV more times than I care to remember, in front [page news articles and on CNN but I keep it really quiet. What has really helped me are firends and the true beleif that Karma goes a long way. The Best Rockstar status I got was when my oldest son, Alex told his bestfriend that he wants to do everything his Dad is doing, Detective and Kick Ass Wedding Photographer (his words, I have not heard that from anyone else and thats kool). I was the shy one in school and sometimes that shyness still haunts me but Rockstar is relative. Do what makes you happy, make good friends, be a hero to your kids, take care of your clients like never before and you will be surprised what happens.

Love you guys....
Andy

yes.

what is art?

please dont get me wrong bobbi, i am not taking a stab at anyone. i, personally, do not feel that this type of (art) photography will exactly go down in history.

have they ever made a documentary about a wedding photographer? i dont know the definitive answer, but my gut tells me no. all i am trying to say i guess is that i think there is a huge majority of wedding photographers who get too hung up on idolization if that is even a word. i see some fantastic work here that sometimes goes unnoticed because of the name behind it and i find that sad.

Being a rock star photographer in the wedding industry will only help you sell your products to other wedding photographers.

That's how it is unfortunately.

I know what you mean. I'm surrounded by a circle of such talented friends that I know I always feel the pressure to perform. I do thrive a little bit on that positive reinforcement from people, but I don't know if I want to be famous. I do want to have a reputation though for great pictures and being really fun to work with. And I want people to feel like I capture their true beauty and see themselves the way those they love see them. Does that make sense? I just want my subjects to understand how gorgeous they are, that makes me feel content at the end of the day.

It might be clear already from some of my other posts, but the rockstar photographer thing has never impressed me. I'm not into hero worship... at least not of most peer photographers...

Here's people who DO impress me, and inspire awe:

-Soldiers
-Hospice nurses
-Firefighters
-Volunteers who do work that's not glamorous or even fun
-Children with great imaginations
-Starving artists
-Expatriates/Gypsy souls
-People who are experts in their field, whatever that field is
-Passionate teachers
(And so on)

Not to say that I don't love this field, or dozens of photographers that I've met; there's just a WIDE world of REAL heros out there.

In fact, next time you are contemplating spending money for the privilege of meeting a "rockstar" photographer, try using that time instead to volunteer at your local VA Hospital, or church, or arts center... I would bet that you'd feel MUCH better about yourself at the end of your day volunteering than if you'd wasted your money just to hang out with a rockstar.

Savvy?