haha - I know I lured some of you into this thread with my edgy titled but there's only a very G rated question that was inspired as I was enjoying reading through some of the posts in the "What did you dream of being" thread that I see turned into the "What did you dream of having." haha...

So here's the question -

If modern technology would allow you to decide the sex of your children would you?

NO WAY!! God is the only one who can plan that one.
Tricia

P.S. Miss ya DJ

Hu uh... I'm convinced every Sunday they're equally as much trouble and equally adorable

I'm right there with Tricia....let God do the pickin'!!!

Nope. Don't wanna choose. We didn't even find out the sex of any of our children until they were born. Lots of people thought we were crazy (how will you decorate the nursery?)!!

I that God made a great choice for the little man in my avaitor! A lot better than I could have done :-) What ever the rest will be will make me full of joy and happiness.

We took a netural approach to our room design, white furniture and the walls were our wedding collors yellow with a an accent wall of light blue. Even though we found out the sex before he was born we had the room painted and ready to go before we even knew she was pregnent!! We knew a baby was in the near furute :-)

This was my post btw...I guess I forgot to log in...its early!

Like Adam said, absolutely not! One of the best things about delivery was hearing them tell me "Its a girl" or "Its a boy." I would never mess with that. God knows what he is doing!

And again with the big fat No....

It just seems wrong!

I hate to be the geek here but in most cases (of course God can overrule), the couple ALREADY CAN control the gender of offspring (I love technology ... although this one's pretty low-tech).

Seriously! It's just basic biology and timing. I'd tell you all the details, but I wouldn't want to create any moral dilemmas for folks . If you'd like to know how, shoot me a PM and I'll tell you all about it or if there's enough public outcry, I'm sure I could persuaded to post .

Part of life's enjoyment is being surprised or getting something that you maybe didn't want but turned out so much better. I know deep down inside I was kinda hoping for a boy, but God gave us a wonderful girl instead. And it's way better than I had hoped for or imagined, and I fall deeper in love with my daughter everyday.

Where's the fun if you don't have to guess/wonder/dream?

Wait, but then again, I still kinda want a boy next...
PM me Dane?

I dreamed I had another boy when lillie was about 4 or 5! Does that count at all? haha.
~Alisha

Twins, a boy AND a girl.

--AVG

No way! It seems like playing God to me. And heaven knows that God is much better at that than I would be.

Oh come on you guys! Didn't you see how completely happy everyone was in the movie Gattica?! They had choices beyond just sex and everything turned out SO much better that way!....

...Are you picking up on a hint of sarcasm? I would hope so, cuz I'm layin it on pretty thick. I'm with y'all on this one!

Bonus points if you can name the movie from which I stole the sarcasm line.

Yes, I agree with most everyone else that I would not mess with God's plan.

But Dane is right...you can work the clock with some degree of accuracy.

It is nice to be surprised and not know. With our daughter (she was first) we didn't know and I was delighted to have a little girl. Some people asked if I was disappointed. Like DJ said in an earlier post somewhere "who talks like that?" A friend of mine said "oh good, all men need to have a little girl of their own, it gives them a different perspective on life". Another friend, who died in the World Trade Center 9/11 (God bless him and his family, he was the best Dad) said "Having kids is like getting the joke you never understood before" that has stayed with me because it is so true. People say "oh yea I understand" but they really don't have a clue unless they have been there and done that, really, really!
O.k. sorry for wandering a bit, back to the question. As a proud, happy father of a girl and a boy, I think it is the greatest thing in the world to have both. They are completely different experiences. Who ever said we are all the same when we start out obviously did not have both. My little girl is 100% feminine, and she is very delicate with everything. My son used to be called bruiser, then destroyer, and know big boy. If you hold my daughter you feel how fragile and tiny she is. My son has had muscles since I can remember. Until he got sick you could feel his bulk and he already weighed as much as his sister who had a 27 month head start on him. I guess what I am trying to say is that every parent should be fortunate enough to experience both. Maybe after the first one it would be a good idea if they had the option to pick what the second one would be.
No matter what sex they are the parent will experience a kind of love that they never knew before. If I had known this, I would have started twenty years ago. Don't wait too long because there is nothing like it in this world.

It's not up to me

YES, I'd definitely choose. I'd choose 11 boys, and we'd fill out a full football team and kick butt!

Isn't it David Spade in "Tommy Boy".

Really?! Don't we do that all the time (thanks to modern science)? I'm thinking here of people who can't get pregnant easily and do their homework to up their chances of seeing that dream come true? Is it playing God to work with God? The Gattiga scenario seems pretty different to me. Knowing how things work and acting accordingly seems different than than trying to engeneer people's DNA.

Just so we don't get into a group think , I thought it might make sense to present another side ... maybe I'm off on this, but a lot of the comments here seem a little strong to me.

With our three kids, we found out the gender on two and not on the third. As a dad, I really enjoyed knowing more than not. I got to participate in the pregnancy way more as a result I think.

I think finding out earlier than later is kind of akin to the bride seeing the groom before she walks down the aisle. Neither is bad or good, just different. My guess is people should choose according to their goals. For us, finding out is WAY more enjoyable. We get to find out on #4 in 3 weeks!!

So, I read through all the comments, and a lot of parents have posted their thoughts and experiences. I am not a parent yet - thank God! I have enough troubles taking care of myself somedays and I don't have a wonderful husband to help me out in the area anyways! So - at this point in time, with next to nill experience with anything like this, yes I would choose the sex. --- And if technology's not there publicly by the time I am blessed with kids, then I will know the sex of the baby. I'm a planner, what can I say? -- Besides I would love to have two beautiful baby boys!

Thanks for the info Dane. Pretty cool and basic too.

Personally, I'd like to know, and I'd definitely want to choose. The dream situation would be to have a girl first, and a boy 1-2 years later. That way Little brother can stick up for his big sister.

Either way, though, I'll be happy to be a dad regardless of what sex my kids are.

Ryan gets the bonus points...it is from Tommy Boy.

I don't have kids...and won't for a long time...I plan to start by having a wife first. But I have 7 neices and nephews, and that's enough to know Chris is right...kids mean hapiness either way.

We had a girl, then 21 months later, a boy came out. We're your dream family. Of course, 6 years after that, we had another boy.

Gosh Frank, you're so wise!! I wish I was up north still so I could hang w/you NYers more often and have more of this rub-off!!

And Shua...too funny!! You don't REALLY want 11, now do you, do you??

Dane... keep the controversy coming... luv all this intellectual-debat stuff. Another wise one here. BTW, you never answered the twins ?...you don't have twins now, do you Dane?? And all girls, right?? (bet you're vouching for a little Dana/e, right??)

Chris - I luv the big-brother idea. I kinda wish I had an older brother growing up. I adore my two older cousins but it's just not the same.

and kfmeyer ...thanks for the hope there are guys out there that want the same things as us gals! Aww...all u softies!! shucks

okay...now off to hang with some 25-yr-old-kids...

(that was me up there)...

darn computer... no more using this ol thing!

Friends of mine are part of a 10 children family. I was privileged to photograph the wedding of the youngest daughter last month, and was amazed at the size of the family, and the extended family.

The "kids" range from 24-45 or so. 6 of the kids are married, most with children of their own. I can only imagine what family dinners are like around the mom/dad's place!

Personally don't think that I'd want that many kids. Quite certain that my g/f is not looking for more than 2 either. hehe.

Nope.

My wife and I are trying to have a kid in the near future. I really want a boy, she doesn't much care. Even so, I'd like to leave it up to a higher power to decide.

Boys all the way! That way when they get married I won't have to pay for the freakin' expensive photographer.

Tempting, but no. We tried for a long time to conceive, and I wanted a boy with all my heart. Then during my pg I thought for sure it was a girl. Then we found out later in the pg it was definitely a boy. It was fun knowing that it could be either, but that the choice had already been made. I love my little guy more than life and can't imagine him being other than what he is.

not to rain on your parade Jim, but I have been paid by the parent of the groom at least once this year. haha. You could be on the hook either way.

Thanks Liana. I wish you were here too so some of your wisdom would rub off on us.
Dawn..."I love my little guy more than life and can't imagine him being other than what he is." That is the best sentence in this thread.
Shua, be careful what you wish for. My cousin has a baseball team full of boys. Imagine what his food bills are. Plus that would mean that your poor wife would be pregnant for twelve years (I wonder what the women here think of that picture)
Chris...girl first for sure. As a first born in a family of three lets just say that I would rather have my daughter at sixteen years old opening doors first for her brother to come through than the other way around. After me and my sister, my brother never came up against any closed doors. Also, not only does he get to look out for her but he gets to meet her older girlfriends too (any guys remember what it was like to be a shy teenager)
Jim, that is too funny.
Dane...I love it. I'm kinda confused though. I thought you said you liked knowing better but with this one you choose not to? Is three weeks the delivery time, the find out time, or both?
DJ...with each passing day you show us that your brilliance has no boundary. Now jut get spel check for the forum pease.
Thanks everyone...you are the greatest!

you're free to come visit us anytime liana!!

awww thanks:) I miss it sometimes (NYC and Ohio)... especially this time of year when the leaves are supposed to be changing colors....

Seriously though, I may have to visit more often now... just found out tonight ANOTHER one of my best gals here might make the move.....

Hah. Lately, I've started to think it was the other way around!

the leaves are just starting to change too, the cooler breaze is coming through the towns and the colors are starting to turn. it really is the best time of year anywhere, EVERYONE should experience a fall in NY. i was away for one fall and i told myself i would never do that again, that i would always at least stop through during the fall because i missed it so much.

there are also these amazing old fashion cider mills through the country that are pumping this time of year. they give you tours of the facility and you take home the cider that you saw get pressed and homemade apple pie.... have you been to one of these? aww liana you really should come visit. if not this year you better make time now to do it next year!

and frank i know youre gonna read this... have you been to hollenbeck's near cortland? if you haven't bob and i will take you there next week, its such an awesome place! bring your appetite though.

aww...you're making me doubt my excitement to be on the beach vs in NY in October!

And the Mills!!! We had one called Mapleside that was on a big valley so the fog covered the apple trees... but u could see lake Erie from 30 miles away!

Those APPLES. mmmm. Two of the places I lived growing up had about a half-dozen or so apple trees on them so they had me slaving in the kitchen by age 5 making all-things-apple. Apple pie, apple sauce, apple cider, apple tart, apples with PB&J, apples with just the P....
They're BIGGER and soooooo much better up there! Okay, I'm coming up!! *just don't know when yet* lol. ya all getcha some of them juicy apples for me now, ya hear!?!

oh yeah... so how about that "choice of sex"... *off-topic again, sorry!!!*

yea apples and just the P... now we're talking!! haha thats so awesome to find someone who really appreciates that stuff. if you come up send me over a message, my studio is right in the middle of downtown Ithaca, and if you haven't been to ithaca (although i assume you have) everyone has a bumper sticker that says "ithaca is gorgeous" ..... we actually have a waterfall higher than niagara 10 minutes from downtown! you are more than welcome anytime

Luke I was LMAO when you said you knew I was reading it. Never been to Hollenbeck's but can't wait (bring my appetite) do I ever go anywhere without it? I need to scout out the country club and a church there for a wedding on the 22nd anyway. O.k. so what is the P you guys? Liana and everyone else... it really is the best of the best...my favorite time of year. It is an olfactory sensation as well as visual. But it is for such a short time and then...brrr, don't want to go there. I will be thinking about you on the beach as I FMAO. By the way everyone...Luke and I are sharing that studio space so look out world! Ya all come on over anytime.

It's the P part of PB&J (Peanutbutter!!)

Hey...I got an idea... I'll ship you all some ...errr...seashells....and u can pick me some of them apples!?

*I guess the P is also sticking out your tongue in type-talk*

What? You don't want any snow?

hmmmm.... snow, apples, snow, apples.....

this past Christmas was actually my first non-white one:(

perhaps some Apples now and Snow for the holidays ?

ill send ya some apples straight from the mill if you want liana.... just send me an address and ill ship you some im always willing to help another apple lover!

and i hate the cold, but a non-white christmas that ive never done that. i shouldnt put this in writing but there is something amazing about christmas music and lots of white snow around late december. give me the beach every day after, but just for that one week at least i love seeing that white snow. you picked a good winter to leave though... last winter was pretty crazy in manhattan. i actually was shooting a wedding when they had that insane storm and everything in the city shut down, completely shut down. i was stuck in the city for several days longer than i planned... but it was actually a lot of fun since everyone i know had off work (and gave me an excuse for falling behind of their images).

and frank let me know when you want to scout the country club. i know the place inside and out (my father is the superintendant over there) and ill go with if you want. we can head out to hollenbeck's after and grab some cider and pie... and liana some apples just let me know when you wanna go over.

Yea! There's no better combination! Boys rule!

not even being close to having children, i wasn't going to contribute. after reading people say that having a girl first and then a boy, however, i had to speak up. i have three brothers, one older, two younger. i would not for anything in the world trade the life i've had with an older brother. it was him, not my younger brothers that actively stuck up for me. it was him i laughed with most. it was him that i argued with most. it was him that i looked up to. and it was his heart that was closest to mine. i stuck up for my little brothers, but there wasn't any reason for them to defend me. don't get me wrong... i adore my younger brothers. my youngest is one of my best friends, but boy first, then girl... that's the way to go. after that, it doesn't matter. to answer the initial question, though, i would not choose and i will likely not find out beforehand. some things are worth waiting for.

Wait...let's back up a second.

First you have to do the horizontal mambo....so...I'll never be able to know or let God pick for me!

Wow, is it like pretty obvious that KK has her broadband access back? (judging by all of the posts in the last 3 minutes!!!.... )

<---------------me

well.......considering that i'm actually pregnant right now....that's a good question. i have already been blessed with a beautiful little girl named journie. i will honestly be happy with a boy or a girl, we just pray for a healthy child. but........my daughter is INSISTING on a baby sister and i actually heard her saying her prayers aloud the other night and here's what i heard:
"dear god, PLEASE, please let mommy have a TWIN girls. you don't have to do this but i would really, really appreciate it if you would. thanks and amen."
so if god listens to my 6 year old, i might be blessed with 2! ha.

I think either sex presents a degree of challenges. We hope to have one or two of both pretty soon... in the next few years.