Some of y'all may have already heard this--if you have sorry for my ig'nance. Some of you may get offended by slightly dirty and tasteless jokes--so stop right here.

But if you're curious and want to read a cute play on words, scroll on down.















The Baby Photographer"

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my G~d!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um... equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long!!!"

Mrs. Smith fainted!!

LOL OMG that's too funny!!!

That is one of the funniest jokes I've heard in years! Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

yeehee! I'm DYING over here!

All the best,
Roxanne

How funny! I actually posted this up about a month ago here. Must be making the e-mail forwarding rounds! haha

ahhh-- I figured this wasa old stuff--so sorry--didn't mean to steal your thunder

still a funny joke, though, huh

Oh No worries at all!! I thought it was awsome! I'm glad more people have gotten to see it now. Everyone deserves a good laugh, esp. when it's photography related!

I remember reading it from before, but again, I LOVE IT!!!!!

Ding Dang Doo LMAO Thanks

great stuff.

That's a good one! I wish I was better at remembering jokes so that I could share too!