I'm not sure why I am posting this other than to try and vent. I've been looking for an outlet, so maybe this will be it. Please excuse my ramblings.

Memorial weekend got off to a bad start when I went to visit my Grandpa friday night. He has been battling lung cancer for almost 2 years. When he was first diagnosed, they were going to take out part of his lung, do chemo, etc. and he had a good chance of recovering. He had already beat throat cancer 15-20 years ago, so although this would be tougher, he's such fighter that there wasn't too much point in worrying. Then when they went to do the surgery, right after opening him up they saw that things were much worse than they thought. They immediately closed him back up and changed the diagnoses after more tests to giving him 3-6 months to live.
He was much too stubborn to actually listen to them and fought on through his birthday, then through Christmas, and on and on. After some experimental drugs and such, he was actually doing fairly well 18 months after being told the 3-6. In the last 6 months or so, things slowly started to get worse. He fought through another Christmas then he stopped coming to work everyday, which he used to do even though he "retired" almost 10 years ago. It was just in his blood and he enjoyed being there.
We knew he wasn't going to last much longer about 2 weeks ago. When I went to see him Friday, it was pretty much understood that he wouldn't make it through the weekend. He had stopped eating and was very weak. He was in a hospital bed in their living room. So when the call came on Monday when I was on my way home from an Evansville graduation party, it hurt but wasn't surprising. Of course he waited until 5 o'clock since that had been quitting time for the last 60+ years of his life.

The phone then rang about 3 hours later, but it was a number I didn't recognize and I wasn't in the mood to talk, so I didn't answer. When my wife got out of the bathtub, she checked the messages and it was my mom. She called her back when getting things out of the car and came back in and said we had to leave. I refused and said I didn't want to go anywhere. She insisted again and I again refused. Then she started crying and said that my other Grandpa had died too. While not in great health, he was getting along pretty well for an 84 year old. I really wasn't expecting that kind of news and it kind of sent me over the edge. My wife kept trying to talk to me to see how I was, what could she do, did I want to go over there, etc. and I just sat there zoned out until I cracked and yelled at her to just shut up and give me a minute. She ended up going over to his condo to help out my mom and I stayed sitting on the couch zoned out. 15 minutes later my dad and his wife came by to check on me and eventually talked me into going over there too. They don't know what the official cause was and aren't doing an autopsy, but it was probably a heart attack or something. He hadn't written in his journal Sunday, which he did almost everyday, but had taken his morning and night medicines for Sunday. They think he was playing his video poker on the tv at the time.

That was really long winded and I'm not sure how much good it did, but any little outlet helps I suppose.

Hey Ben,

I'm praying for you and your family.

May the peace of the Lord that passes all understanding pour over you and your loved ones.
I will also pray for your Grandfathers.

Much Love & Blessings - I am so sorry for your loss.

Ben, I am really sorry to hear this. I hope the joy of having known them will soon replace the pain of losing them.

*hugs*

Thinking about you.

::hugs::

It's so hard losing loved ones -- even if they're old, and we know it'll happen eventually, it's still horrible.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Leann

I am so sorry for your losses Ben. I will be praying for you and your family!

i am so sorry to hear that ben. i think losing my grandpa back in february was one of the hardest times in my life. if you ever need to talk, i'm around! you and your family will be in my thoughts.

I'm glad that you're able to let this out somewhere Ben. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

Bless you heart, your family is in our prayers.

When my Granny died, we were all ready, but it was still so numbing... I'm so sorry for your loss.

Even when you're ready, you're not ready, KWIM? Then to add the unexpected news of your other Grandpa.....well, that's a lot on a person's plate, my friend. Prayers for you & yours during this really difficult and emotional time.